What a well-written post, Rachel. You summarized your points beautifully.
From 1972 to the present, I have used the “hi-fi” communications model discussed in “Psychocybernetics” by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. His model included four steps:
- Input
- Throughput
- output
- feedback (leads to Step 1).
These concepts have their grounding in macropsychology (public relations) and micropsychology (individual growth and treatment of idiosyncratic deficits). What is common is that we want to dominate in communication, rather than having a meaningful exchange of feelings and information. Listening becomes a lost art.
When we practice empathic skills, we learn what to say (and not say); when to say it (and not say it); and how to say it (and not say it). These are vital components of any interpersonal communication, I believe.
From those empathic qualities in our communication, we learn that in relationships, it’s not about winning and losing; it’s about understanding. And when we have understanding, a whole new world of possibilities opens up.
