I, too, went through this, with Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism and their lay organization, Soka Gakkai. There, as a member of the Young Men’s Division, we performed guard duty at various religious centers. We chanted daimoku (Nam-myoho-renge-kyo) repeatedly to seek personal salvation and enlightenment. We practiced active recruiting (shakubuku) in order to bring more people to live “enlightened” lives by becoming Buddhists in accordance with the teachings of Nichiren Daishonin, the sect’s founder and claimant to be the One True Buddha.

After three years of this, I finally concluded that there were w*a*a*a*a*y too many nutcases in the organization. I can’t tell you how many young (and not-so-young) women threw themselves at me, sexually, because I was a leader and very sincere. The militaristic dynamic and Asiatic temperament of the leadership, here in Los Angeles, was really off-putting. And the fact that we were supposedly working for world peace but many people were living in their cars was a form of hypocrisy that I could never accept.

So, like you, I went through a lot in my own heart and soul, and finally decided that I needed to get out before I lost everything of value to me. It took me years to get over that experience.

And, to boot, I was not ignorant. I went to and graduated from law school, cum laude. I worked as a high-paid professional. There were others with whom I worked in the organization: Patrick Swayze; Herbie Hancock; Tina Turner; John Astin, and the like. But then, I realized that the “creative” types often lacked the analytical qualities that would make them question the erratic instructions and behaviors of our top leadership. Good for them, but it wasn’t for me.

I’m glad you got out, and I hope your words of wisdom can save others from the pain you experienced.